There’s nothing sexier than a man helping out in the kitchen. Ever heard that before? I have but at the time I didn’t understand the full meaning of the quote. Prior to marriage during our engagement season, Ray and I would ask many people how to be successful in marriage. To our surprise, many said don’t get married. There were some who gave more applicable advice because at this point we were getting married despite the naysayers. We observed the patterns of behavior of various couples from newlyweds to seasoned veterans. We monitored their communication, interaction, and behavior. We took it all in and came back together to discuss what we saw from our individual perspectives.
We both noticed too many older couples who didn’t speak to each other with loving-kindness. I realized the women worked outside of the home and came home to a ton of additional responsibility. Ray detected the men were dissatisfied with the quantity of sexual interaction between the spouses. At this discovery, our conversation came to a halt. Ray was unhappy with his discovery. He wanted to further dialogue about this with the hope that our relationship would not land on the planet of NoSex. Have you heard of NoSex? Me either. I obviously just made that up. LOL. However, his concern was legitimate. “What do I have to do so we don’t stop having sex?”, he seriously and worriedly asked. I chuckled on the inside but externally recognized the importance of his question. Little did he know, this conversation was important to me as well but for a different reason. My reply was simple. “Help out with the home responsibilities.”
Interest in sexual intimacy decreases for women when they are exhausted. It diminishes by leaps and bounds when she is exhausted servicing you in other ways (i.e. picking up after you, doing your laundry, cleaning the home, preparing meals, etc…). Enter children and attention to your needs has been moved further to the end of her ‘to-do list’. So, if you are unhappy with the quantity of affection you are receiving I guarantee it isn’t personal. Your wife is just butt tired and has no energy left for pleasure, not even her own. If you are interested in changing that dynamic grab some rubber gloves, take out dinner or a bottle of milk from the refrigerator and help her out. In due time, I promise you will become the reference in the saying, “There’s nothing sexier than a man helping out in the kitchen!”